Ok, my devotional for yesterday's main verse was Ex 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you; you must be quiet." Then today's is Col 3:12-13 "Put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, accepting one another and forgiving one another."
Soooo.....how do I reconcile those verses with my almost primal desire to protect my children?
Update: I talked to one of my pastors and this is the gameplan.
1. If he comes again, they will contact him and discuss the "conditions" with him of attending
2. When he walks in the door at any time, Pastor will be notified and will then escort him around
3. He is limited to the foyer and auditorium except if he wants to be in a SS class
4. He would be in Pastor's SS class anyway, so he would have to notify pastor if he is coming. Pastor would then greet him at the welcome center and then escort him to and from class.
What do you guys think?
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9 comments:
I think you just posted as I opened your blog, but I'm not sure if I'm reading the times very accurately. Anyway, I don't think it's hard to reconcile the verses to this situation . . .
The first one doesn't really apply, I don't think. You're not trying to fight anything or anyone. You're trying to protect. The second verse applies hugely -- how are you not exercising any of them just b/c you hold consequence to action?
Let me just say this. Even IF he has repented & turned around, he has only been convicted one month. What kind of person hands someone a huge temptation & says, "We love you; we trust you." ?? I mean, come on. Would you congratulate an alcoholic on 30 days of sobriety by offering him a champagne toast? Of course not!
There is NOTHING wrong with telling the perpetrator that he cannot come into an enclosed area (i.e. the building) that houses children & young adults. It is a consequence, & it is RIGHT.
Yeah, that is all true....but my eyebrows furrow and my lip twitches every time I think about him. That is more what I was talking about with the second one.....my attitude toward him.
Now I will say also that this is all still alleged. He was arrested early December. I don't think he has been convicted yet. Not sure.
Good point about the alcoholic!!!
I think the game plan sound good and appropriate. There are always consequences of sin. In regards to your attitude towards him....hmmm...try and pray for him. It is obvious this young man needs prayer support. God does clearly state - hate the sin not the sinner. We are all wicked in God's eyes and we can't even fathom how that plays out, but I think praying that this young man will have restoration with God and a transformed life is appropriate. I love you friend!
I really don't care whether he has been convicted or not. I honestly think that if he is innocent, he would want to do everything in his power to make others comfortable until the truth is made known. If he doesn’t want to comply with the pastor’s “game plan” then he shouldn’t be allowed in.
We had a situation at our church last year where I had heard our drummer was molesting his step-daughter. Scott and I went to our pastor and told him what we had heard. Our pastor was actually meeting with this family the next night to discuss this. Anyway, I didn’t think he should be playing in church until the truth was made known. I told our pastor that if he was truly innocent then he would agree to step down until he was cleared. He just kept playing the “poor me game”. As it turned out, he was having an affair with one of the other orchestra members! I don’t know about the molestation...never heard how that played out. Anyway, the whole time he was pleading his innocents and he was in fact having an affair.
Sherry, great idea! Praying for someone that you have such feelings for is an excellent idea! The bible does say to “love your enemies”…this is the best way I know to do that.
Sherry is also correct about having consequences. God can and will forgive if we asks, but there will be consequences and I don’t think this is a very big one for him to have to deal with. The bad news is that you have received a consequence for his sin. You have to be scared. This past year I really learned how someone else’s sin can really leave others with consequences. I’m living some right now.
I think that the plan does sound reasonable. They just need to make sure that the greeters know who he is. Knowing a specific predator is around is frightening, but unfortunately there are more in the community at large that have not been "found out" yet. So maybe by him being around, safeguards can be put in place at the church now so predators will have a much harder time in the future having open access to the kids at church. Maybe helping to put some of those safeguards into place would also help you in that you are being proactive in keeping your children safe. That said, forgiving him for that sin when he probably still has that sin in his heart seems to go above and beyond. I would say that a reasonable attitude toward him would be not to beat him lifeless at this point. As for your attitude, I would say having a open heart to possibly forgiving him in the future would be just about all that I would be able to do at this point.
I gotcha! I didn't realize this was more about your personal attitude -- I was taking it as about how your church was handling it (which, they're NOT, as far as I'm concerned).
I have found that praying for the people that are hardest to pray for leads me to a compassion & love that can only come from God. So, that's all I can think of as an answer to that!
I am so glad that you talked to the pastor. He is such a great man of God and he heard you not only as a member of the church but as a mother. While you are entitiled to your "brow furrowing and lip curling", God does want you to remember that we have all sinned(not this huge)but he is faithful to fogive. THat being said going to your first verse....he will fight this battle for you, he knows your heart and the desire to protect(fight for your children). The bible also tells us that if Matt 18:6 "that if a man offends a child that believes in God, he would be better to have a millstone about his neck and cast into the sea." It also goes on to talk about if other things offend you to cut it off.....so on...since he is in my thoughts offensive and he does not abid by the rules that Pastor sets for the he should be cut off and more than just being escorted about the church. God wants us to have compassion, but he also gives us common sense. Yes, I do agree about loving the sinner and not the sin, yet if we know it is wrong and we continue to do it (even if we repent over and over from it)it is still sin and wrong. Maybe I am thinking of a differnet guy, but I thought he had done this more than once. I know that your heart is in the right place Monica, and I also know that you are wnating to hear from God. Keep your heart open yet that Mommy intuition up as well. Praying for you.
All I have to say is DO I have to bring Sami to Josephs dedication. That being said you know where I stand. I love you very much and you are in my prayers.
Sandy....NO you absolutely don't have to bring Sami. I know I am uncomfortable, and it is my church!!!
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