"Standing in the need of prayer," that is me. I went to the cardiologist. He said that everything looks really good after he did an echocardiogram, and EKG (then I have to do a walking echo today). Did any of the rest of you hear chaching, chaching, chaching???? This is going to be sooo expensive. We have $2,000/person and $4,000/family deductible! It went up from $500 :( I am not happy about that. It doesn't help my anxiety that is for sure.
I guess I pushed my good luck. I then asked him about having one more kid. He said he would highly recommend I never get pregnant again. He said though postnatal myopathy is really rare, once you have it the likelihood of getting it again is high. He said that if I was dead set on this that he would work with me. That helped my rebellious "You're not my boss" knee-jerk reaction. But he said I can NOT get pregnant with the drugs I am taking now in my system at all. The high dosages and the type of medicine could cause bad birth defects. Very frightening!!! So I tried to think of it realistically. Can I risk having a baby with birth defects, bed rest and my three potentially losing their mommy???
Allen said we can't risk it. So, we are not going to have any more kids, naturally that is. He has already brought up adoption, but I think it is too expensive not to mention invasive. I will never be pregnant again.....sad, it is making my heart sink just typing it. Please pray for my aching heart. We really wanted four. Don't get me wrong though, I passionately love the three God has given us. I was just hoping He would entrust us with one more treasure!
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my dear friend.....my eyes filled with tears as i read your blog entry ....we love you dearly and will be praying for you as you work through this new trial....knowing that God is good and His way is SO perfect...i love you so much!
I will be praying for you. I know this is so hard for you. God will help you through!
Monica, my heart feels for you today, I do agree with your doctor. Its better for Allen and your 3 children to have you alive and well. Adoption is always a great option, we have thought of adopting if we can't have children. Let me know if I can help you in any way, at least I can be a listening ear, I love you.
Monica, your post strikes near to my heart. I will definitely be praying as you grieve the loss of the hope of another child.
That had to be so frustrating! We will be praying for you my friend! I am so greatful you were able to get at least both a boy and a girl, so you can experience being a mom to each. You are doing fabulous with your kids. They are learning so much and seeing a godly example of a mom and dad who not only love them but also each other. Love you!
Monica, I do understand the sinking feeling! I will pray for you! That God will give you total peace and just rest in the comfort of His loving hands!!! I am daily for the same reasons!
Monica, Is it possible that if you get to your ideal body weight for your height and frame that you could have one more child? Please let me know.
Monica, I'll be praying that you find peace after hearing such heart-breaking news.
I'm sorry to read this, Monica. I feel the pain of your heart. I am praying God's perfect peace will fill your life -- y'know, you never know what He has planned for you!!
Sigh.....my heart and spirit are still aching. I appreciate all your thoughts, encouragements, and especially your prayers. Yes, please all of you pray for a peace in my heart. There were so many times this weekend when I had terrible aching and anxiety thinking about never having another one again. I am in desparate need of that peace that surpasses all understanding.
Christina....no, he said it will come back and it will probably be worse the next time. It won't have to do with my weight.
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